Togetherness in mind

Interesting time in the play pen with Rusty this afternoon, after the fact. The 'fact' being I came off him in the arena. I had missed how much we were not together mentally. OUCH! I will take the time to do more in the round pen, err, I mean play pen, with him, with the goal of developing a stronger and stronger connection with him. He tends to offer obedience without much asking on my part. However I want something else. I want his willing attention, his curiosity, his readiness to join me mentally and physically.

I went at a snail's pace (should I thank my aching body for my tempo?) and released him very frequently with my body language and energy level, going from about a 1 of 10, to about -1 of 10. He didn't do much. I didn't do much. But mentally he was active, and emotionally he was softening. His head kept dropping lower with lots blinking and a few times quite some yawning. Although we walked together with me at his flank and hip, he tended to walk away but slowly enough that I could stay with him. I considered us done for today when he chose to turn toward me and travel with me, following for a few steps.

I was focussing on staying with him mentally. The one time I noticed losing the feel with him was when I was very close to the pen panels, between him and the panels, and I had a fear thought. He stopped and his head went up. I stopped and noticed what I'd done/thought that disconnected us, and regrouped. I think he was expecting trouble from me because of my fear arousal. Yes, I've blamed him for my fear. Something he cannot understand, but experiences as very worrisome.

I feel good after our time in the play pen today. Well, my body hurts from the fall, but mentally I'm in a good place, and feeling confident that I can build a togetherness in mind that will make all we do so much more pleasant. He is such a good horse. I had the sense he was letting go of all those worries deep inside that I put there in the past by confronting him with lots of energy and little guidance. ("Little guidance" is an overstatement.)

The road of life is always under construction. Someone else said that.

The journey of conscious horsemanship is continuously stimulating. I said that.