Wednesday, April 19, 2006

"Tetris is wonderful"

My friend tells me that "tetris is wonderful."

She also says "perfection is graspable."

Perfection is graspable. Interesting concept. Maybe that is exactly the allure.

But in real life, is perfection graspable? Is it perhaps an illusion that is culturally attractive, and accepting reality as it is can be difficult at times, so spending time in the illusion seems comforting?

What would I do with a horse avoiding? It would depend on why the avoidance. Yes, if out of fear, then I would slow down and perhaps retreat to a safer place, phsycially or training wise. If a horse is avoiding due to mind pulled stronger elsewheres, I might reiterate my request and increase to some firmness to get his attention.

So, am I spending time in Tetris Land because I fear something, or because my attention is pulled more strongly there than to something else I'm being asked to do?

I suspect the latter. Tricky business though because it is ME who is asking me to do something else. And all the discussion and argument and conflict is between differing thoughts I have of what I should be doing.

Maybe it's a retreating avoidance, retreating from the complexities of mental and emotional activity required of the main task I intend to complete in the next few weeks. Tetris triggers predictable emotions! Completing this other task at hand triggers totally unpredictable emotions! Ok, so I'm choosing the predictable uncomfortable over the unpredictable uncomfortable... that makes sense! And something I understand in the horses as well.

Which leaves me thinking I spend time in Tetris to avoid fear. Fear of the unknown uncomfortable emotions I expect to be triggered.

With a horse who is doing that, I will assert in some way to break the pattern. I may need to ask RNB for some external assertion energy to help me break the pattern. I can do that!

(Thank you for your thoughts which have helped me process to a new place!)

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