Side by side

Strolling along, singing this song, side by side...

Not what I had in mind when I wrote the title. No. This is about danger and opportunity being side by side. This is about crises within which lie the seeds of creativity and surprise. This is about the storm whose eye is calm, about the height of the wave whose destiny is drawn with the ease of gravity to resolution. Paradoxes on the outside. Complements on the inside. Yin and yang. What is outside mingles with what is inside. What is inside infuses what is outside.

Side by side.

So as I spend a few minutes, a few hours, a few days, weeks, months living through circumstances I don't recall desiring, I am also rejoicing in the gifts that come side by side with the disturbances.

There is always another insight, another step closer to freedom from unconsciousness, with each crisis. At least in my life. I will not settle for getting upset about something. I need to know why I got upset. What happened to bring out such strong feelings. How much is this about Now, how much is this about Before. What can I think or do to release the distress and allow for calm to resume its rightful place.

This morning was approximately 5% about Now and 95% about Before. I am grateful that RNB recognized my state of emotional arousal and simply listened without taking it personally, without trying to fix me. It allowed for an opening inside me where I found things I had not previously connected to my present circumstances.

Things like giving to others. Giving everything to others. Giving because I had to, not solely because I wanted to. In the past, I wasn't living as if I had choices. Today I am, despite the moments when it feels like I don't have choices. I do still have choices. And I do make choices.

Sometimes the options seem limited, but that's another story for another day. By the time I publish this and some one of you reads this, this morning's upset will be a fading memory. I love the journey even if I don't always love the scenery.