(From an entry started Sept 29th.)
I taught my first lesson today since I was injured. Well, first lesson outside of my teaching days (daze!) at High Horses Therapeutic Riding Program. Those days I would do my best to show up and perform my duties. I managed fine and found out how much help the volunteers can offer. I do miss being free to walk, trot, canter myself, and certainly miss riding!
I'm especially intent on adjusting my teaching style to meet the needs of my students. I think did OK today. I kept checking in about what I was doing and if it made sense and did the student want to try it now. This student preferred to watch and will experiment later without anyone watching. This is fine. I have no need to check if the ideas I presented are 'accurately' interpreted. Hopefully I have influenced this student in a way that enhances the horse/human relationships there at home. That is most important to me.
I do wonder about my need for feedback, for affirmation that what I offer is meaningful and making a difference. I see that things are working in some group lessons I do on a weekly basis. I can't decide whether it is a useful trait or not, that I tend to be oblivious to whether my sharing/teaching is benefitting others or not. I get lost in the moment, am very aware of how a horse is responding, but I'd like to have the same awareness and skills with people as with horses. A funny thing for me to say, as before I always considered my people skills superior to my horse skills.
Horses tend to be easy to read though. Not the same ability to cover some inner workings with sophisticated defenses as us humans have. I do keep remembering that when I perceive some barrier to receiving from me, I have that same tendency! And when I remember this, it gives me a chance to connect with the person rather than disconnect behind some judgments.
Horses, horses, horses!