Horsey Therapist

Monday, September 28, 2009

Excuses to not feel good

I get daily reminders from several sources. This morning's quote from Abraham-Hicks via Facebook is:

Tell everyone you know: "My happiness depends on me, so you're off the hook." And then demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they're doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel -- and then, you'll love them all. Because the only reason you don't love them, is because you're using them as your excuse to not feel good.

--- Abraham

This quote reflects something I believe in deeply, and am practicing as often as I remember. And it reminds me of my horsemanship and my life journeys.

My time with horses and my time with family offer me the most opportunities to practice. Being human, I fail, succeed, fail, succeed, and over time am indeed developing deeper habits that harmonize with my ideals and convictions.

I recall -- with a mix of cringing and self-forgiveness -- times when I acted as if my horses were responsible for my feelings. If they didn't do what I thought they could do, I mistakenly thought it reflected on me as a person and a 'trainer' and a horse owner who promotes good horsemanship.

I recall -- with a mix of laughter and tears -- times when I acted as if my husband was responsible for my feelings.

Clearly my long term and short term memory are working. I fall into old habits with my husband too quickly, too easily, too recently! This quote is timely and I am making a poster version of it that will hang over my computer monitor where I will see it at least twice a day.

There is an abundance of excuses to not feel good. I am highly skilled in identifying and seeking the so-called comfort zone of living just behind those excuses. Letting go -- especially when 'I feel' that I've been wronged, misled, excluded -- is in fact as easy as noticing my reaction and choosing a more pleasant thought or assumption in place of the story that was aggravating me.

Perhaps the motivation to be safe around the horses is why I am more purposeful with them than in my human relationships. I have experience of being injured when I am careless around horses. Hmm, I am forgetting that I am living in a state of injury when I am careless around people. Poof! There goes another delusion! My Buddhist roots speak up now reminding me that we are all connected, and what I do, think, and feel affects me as well as others.

Today I will spend time with Rusty to see how well I can stay in my feel good place regardless of what he offers me. I am imagining a breakthrough with us today.


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