Critical terminology

Way too often for my liking I find myself saying things like "I'm not focused or disciplined enough".

Yikes.

If I step back a step, even right now I am criticizing myself for being critical.

Yikes.

I do get critical in my thoughts when I compare myself. It can be a comparison to others and what they are accomplishing. It can be a comparison to myself and my plans, my ideals. In either case, I fall short -- my assessment leaves me 'less than' something or someone else. Then phlopp -- I come down on myself with these critical phrases, with a discouraging attitude.

What is my truth is something different from how I think and express at times. My truth is about being present, aware, responsive, creative... These are qualities I value and have pursued improving for decades. They do not fit smoothly with the paradigm that judges discipline and completing tasks and reaching goals.

In fact I do complete tasks and reach goals, but not consistently in a way that is visible such as keeping a list and checking off items as I complete them.

I consistently complete tasks of connecting with each of our horses. (Connecting and completing a task -- sounds almost oxymoron-ish.) I regularly move ahead with my goals around clarity and honoring the choices of my horses and finding ways to communicate with more and more subtlety and understanding, less and less pressure of any sort.

So I need a little brain wash!

I can use water at a comfortable degree of warmth so my inner self feels soothed and relaxed and open to this cleansing.

I can add a bit of organic soap, lightly scented with Breath of Horse to support my feeling surrounded by loved ones, safe and whole as I prepare to say good bye to old familiar ways.

I will rub gently, inviting the old ways to loosen and let go.

I will rinse with sparkling spring water, and rinse some more, allowing the cool flow to carry away whatever is loosened, whatever I am ready to release.

That done, I will breathe deeply -- head high, heart confident, eyes open and receptive -- and walk out into whatever comes next.

That is my strength -- going with the flow, directing the energy that presents itself, guiding toward a pleasing togetherness.

I am ready to embrace who I am, to let slide those descriptors that do not suit me. I need not fear -- they are there should I choose another time to use them again.