Horsey Therapist

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Critical terminology

Way too often for my liking I find myself saying things like "I'm not focused or disciplined enough".

Yikes.

If I step back a step, even right now I am criticizing myself for being critical.

Yikes.

I do get critical in my thoughts when I compare myself. It can be a comparison to others and what they are accomplishing. It can be a comparison to myself and my plans, my ideals. In either case, I fall short -- my assessment leaves me 'less than' something or someone else. Then phlopp -- I come down on myself with these critical phrases, with a discouraging attitude.

What is my truth is something different from how I think and express at times. My truth is about being present, aware, responsive, creative... These are qualities I value and have pursued improving for decades. They do not fit smoothly with the paradigm that judges discipline and completing tasks and reaching goals.

In fact I do complete tasks and reach goals, but not consistently in a way that is visible such as keeping a list and checking off items as I complete them.

I consistently complete tasks of connecting with each of our horses. (Connecting and completing a task -- sounds almost oxymoron-ish.) I regularly move ahead with my goals around clarity and honoring the choices of my horses and finding ways to communicate with more and more subtlety and understanding, less and less pressure of any sort.

So I need a little brain wash!

I can use water at a comfortable degree of warmth so my inner self feels soothed and relaxed and open to this cleansing.

I can add a bit of organic soap, lightly scented with Breath of Horse to support my feeling surrounded by loved ones, safe and whole as I prepare to say good bye to old familiar ways.

I will rub gently, inviting the old ways to loosen and let go.

I will rinse with sparkling spring water, and rinse some more, allowing the cool flow to carry away whatever is loosened, whatever I am ready to release.

That done, I will breathe deeply -- head high, heart confident, eyes open and receptive -- and walk out into whatever comes next.

That is my strength -- going with the flow, directing the energy that presents itself, guiding toward a pleasing togetherness.

I am ready to embrace who I am, to let slide those descriptors that do not suit me. I need not fear -- they are there should I choose another time to use them again.

4 Comments:

At 11 May, 2008 19:05, Blogger Victoria Cummings said...

Who you are is a good, kind, creative person who loves her people and her animals and extends herself to her friends and others who need help. And we're all glad you do - Happy Mother's Day, LJB!

 
At 12 May, 2008 05:40, Blogger LJB said...

Strange how the mind can cut one off from the abundance of support and connectedness at times. Your confirming offering of words is timely. Thanks!

 
At 12 May, 2008 07:06, Blogger Pam said...

Lasell,
Have you ever read books by Eckhart Tolle? I just went through the classes on his book The New Earth on Oprah.com. I found it extremely relative to my life and what I've been searching for. It is about awakening to be aware of ones thoughts without losing oneself in them. He also has a book called The Power of Now which seems to be exactly what you are describing. All we really have is Now, the past and the future are just images in our minds. I think it is what folks mean when you "ride every step." I used to think it was micromanaging but know I think it means being in the moment.
Pam

 
At 12 May, 2008 07:16, Blogger LJB said...

Pam, I have not read his books but am familiar with the 'now' -- been exploring ways to become ever more present (peeling the onion layers) since I was 20! It is refreshing that being present is becoming popular -- not feeling like such a freak anymore! *g* But I am as susceptible as the next for forgetting, and always welcome reminders. Numerous people have mentioned Echkart Tolle recently. He is making an impact!

 

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